Dorian Gray: An Obituary

Obituary: Dorian Gray (1854 - 2016)

World renowned hedonist and battler of the supernatural, Dorian Gray, passed away in the late hours of Hallowe'en Night, 2016, in the operating theatre of St Faust's Nursing Home. We sadly know little of Dorian's younger years but he was born into a wealthy family and had a close connection with his matron, Miss Constance Harker, shortly before her untimely death. Gray first came to notoriety in 1872 when famed artist, Basil Halward's portrait of Gray, was regarded by many to be the artists masterpiece, notably by socialite Sir Henry Wotton. Gray then began to date and planned on marrying upcoming acting talent, Miss Sybil Vane, before a bout of depression sent her into the arms of the Lord far too early. Gray then began to travel the world and his unchanging physique and lax attitude to the norms of society became gossip on the streets of London, especially when his return coincided with the disappearance of Mr Halward. Soon after, there were disputed claims of  Mr Grays premature death, but investigators discovered him in Paris, in the accompaniment of playwright and socialite, Oscar Wilde, who a few years later, released his only novel, a fictionalised re-telling of Dorian's story. After Wilde's death in 1900, Gray explored the world, serving in Mons in the First World War, becoming a compadre of noted poet, Dorothy Parker, starting his own band, Dorian Gray and the Hedonists, and locating and keeping the world safe from the forces of the supernatural. In 1986, Dorain was noted to be in the company of a person known as Toby Matthews, who disappeared from public view not long after instigating a relationship with Mr Gray. 2012 saw another premature death report of Mr Gray, but the man himself returned to the public eye two years later. His partner, Mr Matthews also returned and the two rekindled their relationship. However, Chirstmas, 2015, saw Gray seemingly attacked and brain damaged by Mr Matthews who soon after disappeared completely from the face of the Earth. Mr Gray, for his own safety, was admitted into St Faust's under the name Charlie White. He was admitted into surgery in the early hours of  the morning of Monday 31st October and, after the surgery was completed, was left to recuperate, when the brain failed and his heart stopped beating. Mr Gray was officially declared dead at 11:59 PM. His surgeon, Dr Jekyll, stated that, "What Mr White had was a sever deformity of the brain, only found after it has been savagely forced upon. The surgery we performed on him was experimental, but it was our only realistic chance of saving him. There was every chance the body would reject the changes we made and go into shutdown. He said, in one of his brief lapses of sanity, that he would have preferred dying with a chance than living with none." 

Recently, there was a memorial service for the legendary hedonist, where many of his admirers and adoring followers came to pay respect and tributes. Mr Jack Ryan delivered this reading of behalf of Mr Gray's following, The Hedonists.

'It's interesting, I guess. Some of the things we, as a species, refuse to believe or pretend we don't hear. I guess this was one of them. I first heard of Mr Gray by pure chance when I heard that they were doing a film based on his book back in 2009. It was only about five years later, on Christmas Day, that I met Dorian for the first time. He was a nice, young chap, who regaled me with stories of his earlier days. I, for a minute, didn't believe half of them, nor that he was the true Dorian Gray of the famous book. Then he lay the truth out to me and I listened to his stories again. And I was enthralled by every word, every action, every last little detail. When we parted company that day, I was left with a cornucopia of fantastical tales and hedonistic pleasures, though I had more interest in the former than the latter. When we met again, by pure chance, he told me of how happy he was that his soulmate, Toby Matthews, found his way back into Dorian's life. And it could be seen all over him. The way he smiled at everyone, the little skips in his walk, the more pleasant outlook he had on life in general. Then.... came Christmas.... a year after I had met this wonderful human being, I learned of the terrible tragedy that befell him. I never learned what truly happened to him until I read those five impossible words. "Dorian Gray has passed away." There was that part of me that didn't believe it, that a man who lived as long as he had would succumb to death. But he did. I don't know if we'll ever know what truly happened to him. But I think some of us don't want to know. Some of us want to remember Dorian as the living, care-free, full of energy hedonist we all fell for. And as long as we keep him in our minds, Dorian Gray will never die. And I think he knew that. He knew that, no matter whatever happened, he would live on in our hearts, in our minds, and in our souls. That, he knew, was true immortality. Goodbye, Dorian. You will be missed, but you will never be forgotten.'

Dorian Gray is sadly survived by no immediate next of kin. In accordance with his wishes, his estate has been entrusted to the hands of Mr Alexander Vlahos and Mr Scott Handcock. The two gentlemen have stated that, in lieu of flowers, respects and remembrance can be made by backing a project that Dorian was involved with helping come about in the last few months of his life. In honour of his admiration of Shakespeare, Vlahos and Handcock have dedicated their upcoming performance of Hamlet in memory of Mr Gray. The project can be supported at the following link: Alex and Scott's Hamlet

Dorian Gray: 20th June 1854 - 31st October 2016 RIP